So where is God?

Hello. I've e-mailed you before in the past about other matters... But right now, I realy need a good answer to my questions and I thought I could get some help from you.

I have come to the conclusion that God does not care about me. I have been through hell in my life. My mom had a terrible disease and died from it. I have a post traumatic stress disorder from it and I'm under heavy depression. Why would God do that? Every f***en day I feel suicidal and every f***en day I do not care whetehr I live or die. To the best of my knowledge, God has our life planned out before we are even born. So basically all of our choices really aren't our choices, they are the scheduale that God has made for us. So what the f***? Do we really have a choice? Not really. At least I don't see it.

My opinion is that GOd just brings us to life just so he can watch us be s*** on while he sits back and enjoys every minute watching us suffer and beg for help that never seems to come. And he has yet to prove me wrong. I have begged him to come into my life again and change things and have been waiting for an answer. Im sick of waiting. It's not f***en worth it to me. He has our f***en life planned out, yet he brings us to life just to send us to hell.

If i die tonight, I'll have the certainty that I'll go to hell because I'm not following God. Well thats a bunch of f***en bulls*** because God has yet to give me reason to follow him. I've been waiting for years. Where the f*** is he at? And don't tell me that I haven't been looking and listening for him hard enough. Because *** d*****, I have. But it's so hard to turn to God when you don't give a s*** about yourself anymore. And is that my choice? No. I have the disease of depression to add to all the s*** in my life. Thats how it makes me feel. To me, God works in s***ty ways...or at least I am yet to see him work good in my life. If things continue like they are, God can say goodbye to me. It's not worth goin through all this Hell I am goin through and have gone through.

Also, I have been thinking....if God depises sin...why would he make it human nature to sin? THat just doesn't make any sense. If hes all powerful God and loves us so much, why would he allow us to sin? Then if he despises it so much, why would he have his son killed so that it would make sin okay if we ask for forgiveness. For example...if I am against marijuana use....would I make a law to make it ok? No. THat makes no f***en sense. That part of christianity makes no sense to me.

Is life just God's little experiemnt? Are we his little guenea pigs? Why did he create us? It seems its just like a little movie of his. His entertainment consists of watching our lives suffer and go to him for help. He probably doesn't doa f***en thing, but when something good happens, we are supposed to praise his name. f*** that. He has given me no reason to do such a thing.

I would really appritiate an education response to my questions. I have mentioned them to friends/family, but they don't have an answer. I will be looking forward to your response. I'm sorry if I sounded alittle too p***ed off. I didn't mean to deliberatly attack your personal beliefs. I myself just want an answer so I can better myself as a person and someday comeback to the christian lifestyle. If I had no interest in that, why would I bother writing to you? Heh. Thank you very very much for your time spent.

My response is in Green:

Wow you have judged God and He came up short. The problem is that you have no idea who He is or who you are for that matter. You asked a lot of questions so I will try to answer them, but they might be out of order. Does God really give us a choice? Yes and that is exactly why you have a problem with Him. See you claim that God does not give us a choice and then you claim that if you were God you would not give us a choice so that we couldn't choose to do evil. The problem is that God did and does give us a choice and we for the most part choose evil over good.

If God made is so you could not sin, that would mean you would have no choice, you would just be a slave. That is what you are trying to claim now, but it is not true. If you had no choice, then you would not make the wrong decisions. You even get it wrong when it comes to the law and marijuana, you say you are against it, so you would never make a law that makes it illegal. Okay, but what is your point? Has God made it spiritual legal to kill, to rape, to curse, etc...? Of course not, in fact that is your problem, you are complaining that you can do wrong, but it is only wrong because God says so. Well I have news for you, there are millions of people who use marijuana and it is illegal. If they get caught they will suffer the consequences because it is wrong. The same goes for God and His laws, He has not made these things legal, but we still can decide to do them, even though they are wrong. Is that God's fault? Is it the Police Officer's fault when he catches someone using marijuana? Of course not, it is the person who did what is wrong that is at fault.

You asked why God would make humans with a sin nature, He didn't. He created humans as perfect, but He gave them free choice to choose to do right or wrong, they chose wrong and that is how we all got the sinful nature, not because God gave it to us. This goes back to the same question, would you rather be a slave with no choices? Before you say yes, remember that is what you claim you are now and you hate it. You claim God has everything going the way He wants it and we have no real choices and you condemn Him for that, so obviously you would not want to choose to have had God make us slaves.

The point is you can't have it both ways. You can't complain that you have no choice and then complain that God should not allow us to do anything wrong. You asked why God created us. That is a good question and there is an answer for it. Yes He knew before He created us that we would choose to do evil, and yet He allowed us to have that choice. To a human that might sound wrong, but you have to understand who God is in order to understand how He acts. He wanted to show us His love and He wanted us not to be slaves who have no choice but to love and serve Him. So He created us, knowing that we would reject Him and sin against Him, but before He created Adam, He already had a plan to save us. That plan was and is the best way that God could show us His love. There is no greater love then to give you life for someone and that is what God did for us. Man's sin has caused man a lot of suffering, but we often forget against whom sin is rebellion and that is God. It is we who owe God a debt we can't afford to pay ourselves.

Let me try to put it into terms that are easier to understand. Let's say that I am caught on tape killing someone. There is no doubt about my guilt, it was taped from start to finish. I stand before a judge and of course am found guilty. The judge tells me that he can't change the law, I am to be put to death because of the crime I have committed. I end up on death row. I have no one to blame except myself because I committed the crime of murder. The very evening that I am to be executed the judge shows up at my cell and unlocks the door. He tells me that he can't change the law or the punishment, I have committed murder and therefore a life must be given as payment for that crime, but he can and will do the next best thing, if I am willing to come out of that cell, he will come in and take my place.

Now I have a choice, I can still deny that I murdered anyone, even though everyone knows I did. I can tell the judge to go jump off a cliff because I think the law is wrong. I can laugh at him and claim I don't believe he will really come in and take my place, so I am not going to even try to leave the cell. Or I can thank him and walk out of the cell a free man. Very simple choices.

Well that is what God has done for us. We have all sinned and all sin must be paid for by spiritual death. But God loves us and even though He can't change His holy nature which demands justice, He can do the next best thing and He has, He has offered to take our punishment for us, in fact He has already done so, but we must be willing to admit that we deserve to be punished and then believe that He has done for us what He has done. Or we can refuse to admit that we have sinned, although we all know we have. Or we can claim we think the law is wrong and we shouldn't be punished. Or we can claim that we don't believe we really have a choice and therefore we won't even try to believe.

God does not like the evil in this world and one day He will set things back to the way they should be. That includes getting rid of pain and disease. He could do that today, but there is a catch. The pain and disease are all part of the fall, the sin of man. As I said earlier God has a holy nature which demands justice. Now because He loves us, He has given us a chance to come to Him admit our sins and allow Him to take our punishment, but as we all know there are billions of people who have not take His offer and if He chose to end evil today, He would (because of His just nature) have to destroy them for their sins. So which is more merciful? To allow sin and evil and pain and disease along with them continue so that more people could come to know Him and thereby avoid punishment, or to do away with all pain and suffering today, but punish anyone who has ever sinned?

Let's even take it one step further, let's say that God could change His holy nature and just wipe the board clean and forget all our past sins, even though we refuse to admit them or come to Him. So He takes away the past sins and does away with evil and pain and suffering. We have a perfect world, but for how long? What would happen the next time someone sinned? The world would go right back to the mess it is in now. Or I guess God could deal with anyone who sinned at the moment they sinned.

Let's say your boss comes to you and asks if you have finished that job he gave you yet. You tell him no, you have been too busy, but that is a lie. You told him that just so he wouldn't get mad at you. BAM! You wake up in hell, no chance to ask for forgiveness, no more sinning, nothing but eternal punishment. Or let's say that you go to have a drink with a buddy and end up having too many and get drunk. BAM! You find yourself in hell. Or you see a pretty girl on television and have lustful thoughts about her. BAM! Take a pencil home from work, because you don't feel like buying one at the store. BAM! Allow yourself to hate the person who cuts you off on the highway. BAM!

Hey, the world would be without sin pretty soon, but it would only be that way because it would soon be without people. That is not love, it is much more loving for God to allow the pain and suffering to continue so that we can come to Him and be saved.

I am sorry your mother died a painful death. I hate the world the way it is, but I understand that as much as I hate it, God hates it even more than I do, yet He allows it because He loves us more than He hates the pain and suffering. I personally praise God for that, but I know a lot of people like you who blame Him for His love. That's right you blame Him for loving you enough to not take you life the moment you sin. You blame Him for allowing you to have free will and make your own choices instead of making you a slave.

You claim you have gone to God many times and asked Him to save you. Well since you believe what you do about God, it shouldn't surprise you that nothing has happened. You have to come to Him honestly, understanding that He loves you but that you owe a debt that you can't afford to pay. Until you admit you owe the debt there is nothing God can or will do for you. That is not His fault it is your fault. There is much suffering in this world, good people die of disease and bad people die of disease. Good people are killed in accidents and so are bad people. Good people are murdered and so are bad people. It is all part of living in a fallen world that is full of evil, but we can know that one day this world will be set right, but only those who have now, in this life accepted the consequences of their own sin will enjoy the cleansed world. The rest will continue to curse God because of the bad things that happen, never realizing because they didn't want to understand that He allows this to happen because He loves them.

It is a true choice and it holds the keys to either an eternity with God in a world without pain and suffering or an eternity in hell separated from God and His love.


If you have read this discussion and want to know how to have a relationship with Jesus Christ here is what you need to know.

Romans 6:23 (NIV) For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

All sin is punishable by death, but because God loves you He took that punishment upon Himself when He sent His Son Jesus Christ to die for our sins. We must admit that we need a savior before we can come to Christ.

Ezekiel 18:4 (NIV) For every living soul belongs to me, the father as well as the son--both alike belong to me. The soul who sins is the one who will die.

God loves you and wants you to come to know Him.

Romans 5:8 (NIV) But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Once you understand that you owe a debt to God for your sins that you cannot afford to pay, all you have to do is believe that He loves you and sent His Son Jesus Christ to die in your place. Then ask Jesus to forgive you and come into your heart and save you. That is all there is to it, but part of knowing that you are a sinner who deserves to die for his sins is to be sorry for those sins and want to live a holy life in Christ. Unless you are willing to follow Christ and make Him Lord of your life, it is useless to ask for forgiveness because you will just keep sinning and keep bringing judgment down on yourself.

Hebrews 10:26-27 [26] If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, [27] but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. [NIV]

But our hope is in Christ who sets us free from sin and helps us live the kind of life that is pleasing to God.

2 Peter 1:3 His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. [NIV]


E-Mail Ralph (whose comments are in green)

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