I find you to be too judgmental and not sympathetic at all!

Hi Mr Ralph,

You obvously know how I got to your site. I am one of the many believers who don't have a reason to leave anymore. The reason why I haven't committed suicide is because Im not sure if God will forgive me for that, and secondly, I am the only one working at home, and if I died no one will look after my mom and the life insurance company will not pay.

However, I find you to be too judgemental and not sympathethic at all. I don't believe Christ God is a without compassionate, sitting in heaven with a whip demanding people to put first at all costs. As people we have the right to be angry at God and express our anguish through prayer. There are people who have been raped, abused and had all sorts of injustices visited upon them, and rightfully so, they feel that life is not worth living! The only thing you can tell them is that their past is behind. Do you honestly think that one day someone must just wake and kiss pray and kiss their past goodbye?

That is an unfair expectation. Obviously, you haven't suffered great injustice in your life. What about reffering the poeple to professional Crhistian pyschological counselling. Ima not suggesting that God doesn't heal supernaturally. But equally, he uses these professional people.  Its good to encourage people and be blunt that Christ is what they need. But your hardline approach is more often than not unwarrented.

Bless you!

My response is in Green:

First let me say that you obviously know suicide is a sin or you wouldn't be worried about being forgiven for it. So you have no excuse. I just wanted to make that point up front. Yes I am blunt, but how does a person tell someone that they will suffer in hell if they kill themselves without being blunt? Blunt does not mean I have no compassion, my compassion should show by the fact that I answer so many people's e-mail, only a small amount of which make it to my website. If I didn't have compassion, trust me I would take my e-mail address off my pages, so I don't get e-mails like yours, but I don't because I do care and I do have compassion and try to help people.

You claim I am too judgmental and not sympathetic, but you don't really say way, other than I am too blunt. I guess because I tell people that the past is past and all they can do is continue to be a victim of something they can't go back and change, or look forward and let the past stay in the past. It is very popular today to blame all our problems on the past, but what good does that do other than give us an excuse for our own shortcomings? Can we go back even 30 seconds and change anything? No, but we can change what happens 30 seconds in the future, so I stand by my point that the past is over and we need to focus on the future.

You have a problem with me telling people that they can't be first in their lives, but those aren't my words, they are God's words. One passage I even quoted on the page you came from:

Matthew 16:24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."

Deny yourself, not my words, Jesus' words. So if you have a problem with that, then your problem isn't with me! But that isn't the only place where Jesus make such statements:

Luke 14:26 "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters--yes, even his own life--he cannot be my disciple."

Sounds harsh doesn't it? Blunt, isn't it? Again, not my words, but Jesus' words. The translation isn't what we often think it is, hate as we understand it was a sin, so Jesus didn't mean a deep dislike, what hate meant when He said it was reject. So in other words, we must reject everyone and everything in favor of Him. So again if you disagree, your problem is with God, not me.

Romans 12:3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

Paul also tells us not to think too highly of ourselves.

James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.

You can't humble yourself before the Lord and still make yourself first and Him second, it just doesn't work that way.

Philip. 2:3-4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. [4] Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Again we see that we should put others first before ourselves. These are all quotes from God's word, not mine.

You also claim to have a right to be angry with God. I beg to differ; what does God owe you? Nothing! He gave us all free will and unfortunately all of us have used that free will to do evil, we have all sinned. So when a person does an evil thing like rape a woman, whose fault is that? God's? No, it is the person's fault do committed the sin, be angry at that person, but not at God. Even if the distress that comes into your life is by the hand of God, do you have the right to be angry at Him? Well let me let Him answer that. Job had some real problems and those problems, although caused by Satan, were a result of God allowing them to happen to Job. Job says that he wants a chance to stand before God and ask Him why. In that context let me show you what God to say to Job:

Job 38:1-7 Then the Lord answered Job out of the storm. He said:
    [2] "Who is this that darkens my counsel
        with words without knowledge?
    [3] Brace yourself like a man;
        I will question you,
        and you shall answer me.
    [4] "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?
        Tell me, if you understand.
    [5] Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
        Who stretched a measuring line across it?
    [6] On what were its footings set,
        or who laid its cornerstone--
    [7] while the morning stars sang together
        and all the angels shouted for joy?
Job 40:6-14 Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm:
    [7] "Brace yourself like a man;
        I will question you,
        and you shall answer me.
    [8] "Would you discredit my justice?
        Would you condemn me to justify yourself?
    [9] Do you have an arm like God's,
        and can your voice thunder like his?
    [10] Then adorn yourself with glory and splendor,
        and clothe yourself in honor and majesty.
    [11] Unleash the fury of your wrath,
        look at every proud man and bring him low,
    [12] look at every proud man and humble him,
        crush the wicked where they stand.
    [13] Bury them all in the dust together;
        shroud their faces in the grave.
    [14] Then I myself will admit to you
        that your own right hand can save you.

Of course I only quoted small portions of what God said to Job, but trust me, God never apologized, He never said He was sorry, He never told Job that he had a right to be angry. Job had no right to be angry and he realized it when God spoke to Him, and we need to realize it too.

You also told me I should send people to "Christian" psychology counseling. The problem with that is that there is no such thing as Christian psychology, there is just godless psychology practiced by Christians. Psychology is godless because the fathers of psychology denied God's existence, and they claimed that we were all born without sin (in fact without God, there is no sin period) and that our environments cause us to do bad things, because our pure beings are corrupted by our environment. That is bunk and even though a Christian practicing psychology will couch it in biblical terms, if the foundation is godless then it is wrong and I won't send people to it. But let me show you what God has to say:

Jeremiah 17:5-9 This is what the Lord says:

    "Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
        who depends on flesh for his strength
        and whose heart turns away from the Lord.
    [6] He will be like a bush in the wastelands;
        he will not see prosperity when it comes.
    He will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
        in a salt land where no one lives.
    [7] "But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
        whose confidence is in him.
    [8] He will be like a tree planted by the water
        that sends out its roots by the stream.
    It does not fear when heat comes;
        its leaves are always green.
    It has no worries in a year of drought
        and never fails to bear fruit."
    [9] The heart is deceitful above all things
        and beyond cure.
        Who can understand it?

Psychology claims to know the heart of man, but God says they don't, so who do you believe?

Notice I have not yet addressed your comment about having nothing to live for? Now I want to, if you love Christ and put Him first in your life, then live for Him.

1 Cor. 6:19-20 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; [20] you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

We are right back to who is first in our lives, us or Christ. If we are first in our lives, then life will never be what it should be, because we will always have disappointments and pain and not have enough. Just look at the 'privileged' people; the movie stars, the sports stars, the wealthy… are they happy? They might seem happy to people who don't have what they have, but look at their lives, they bounce from one marriage to another, usually with pretty nasty divorces. They are in and out of rehab for addictions and yes many of them commit suicide because to them life isn't worth living. Their problem is that they are first in their own lives and that is a recipe for disaster, so they trade a life that wasn't worth living for an eternity they will wish they could escape but can't. That is the cold hard truth, but people don't want to hear it, they want to hear all the nice loving things that mean nothing and can't save their souls and give them the lives they truly are looking for. They don't want to hear to deny themselves, but it is the only way.

Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. [29] Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. [30] For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

They want that verse but refuse to listen to Jesus when He says the only way to have that is to deny yourself and put Him first in your life. That is His yoke, but as He says it is easy and the burden really is light.



E-Mail Ralph (whose comments are in green)

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