Why won't God allow me to be happy?


I have been asking God for guidance since I learned to turn to him at the age of 12. Ever since then I have been plagued with horrible things in my life. A cloud of unhappiness that has always hung thick over the events of my life. How come I keep asking and he is not responding? How come my father has suffered horrible, painful experiences, he has been lied to, cheated on, stolen from and yet he is a good man who never hurt anyone. I am tired of feeling like I am a bad person. I am tired of feeling like I deserve all the bad things that happen in my life. I know God is there, I know he listens to me, so why is he allowing me to suffer? I have asked him to take my life and send it down the right path. The path of reflection, patience and wisdom. I ask for wisdom all the time and I keep making horrible mistakes and making a fool of myself and suffering the consequences. Why won't he give me wisdom??? Why won't he give me peace of mind. All I want is to be happy. Why won't he allow that? Am I really that evil of a person???

My question is why? Why does he allow it to happen? Why if I ask, he doesn't respond? I wish he would show me he is there listening to me. Sometimes, I want to turn and find another way to happiness because he doesn't seem to be listening and he doesn't seem to care about my misery.

My response is in Green:

Thanks for writing me. I have a question for you. How did you learn to turn to God at age 12? What does that mean? Did you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior or did you just learn that there was a God and He was powerful so you should ask Him for things? This is very important because it shows you relationship to God. If you never came to the realization that you were a sinner and needed forgiveness from God and that He sent His Son to die so that you could obtain that forgiveness, then that is where you need to start.

My response is in Green:

If you truly have given your life to Christ and made Him first in your life, then there is another problem going on. You see I read your message and I saw just one thing in it. I saw what you wanted God to do for you. You said all you want is to be happy. Well that is great from a worldly stand point but from a spiritual stand point it is all wrong.

If you truly love God you should place Him first in your life and want to do whatever it is He wants you to do. He must be in control of your life. If He is then you will find, like I have, that you will be happy. See the focus is either on you and you will never be happy or the focus is on God and doing His will and you will be happy. It is hard to explain unless you have given your life to Christ. It makes no sense to people who don't know who Christ is.

Way too many people think of God as a big genie in the sky who should make them happy and take all their cares away. That will not happen because those people don't really understand who God is and if you don't understand who He is, how can you have a relationship with Him?

God is the creator of everything you see. He is the ultimate authority, He does not have to answer to me or you or anyone. He can do anything He wants to with us and our lives. He can kill us in an instant if He choices to and there is nothing we can do to stop Him. That is the very first thing you need to understand about God. There is nothing you can do to stop Him from doing anything He wants to do. Second you need to understand that mankind is disobedient to God. Since Adam and Eve first sinned, every child born has been born with an evil nature. We all sin. Not one person can say they have never sinned. God is a holy God and cannot stand sin. He is also a just and merciful God. His holy nature demands that we pay for our sins. The payment is death. There is nothing we can do to pay any less than with our lives.

But remember I said God was not only holy and just, but that He is merciful too. He loves us and He does not want us to have to die. He can't change the fact that we are sinful and deserve to die for our actions, but He can and did make a way for us to pay for our actions without our own death. That price is the price of Jesus' blood. See God sent His Son; Jesus Christ, to earth as a human to live a sinless life, and to die for our sins. So now all we have to do is believe in Jesus and ask Him to forgive us and be Lord of our lives. At that point our sins are forgiven and we are reconciled with God. He (Jesus) becomes Lord of our life and we start living the way He wants us to live.

Now you might ask what does all this have to do with you being happy, well without Jesus being Lord of your life you will never truly be happy. Look at the people who seem to have no worries; like sports stars who makes millions of dollars each year. Are they happy? If they are then why are so many of them in trouble with the law over drugs, etc...? Look at movie stars, are they happy? If so then why do so many commit suicide, or again get into trouble with drugs, etc..?

See we are all searching for happiness but if we don't look to God for our happiness we will never find it. God is also a jealous God, He won't just make you happy so that you can go off an do your own thing. He demands you obedience. When we accept Jesus Christ as our Savior we are adopted into God's family. He becomes our Father and we are His sons and daughters. Think about what that means. I believe God uses those names so that we understand our relationship with Him. He is our Father, He will protect us, He will take care of us, He will love us, but He is also over us. We are sons and daughters and just like human sons and daughters we owe our Father respect and obedience. Many people on this earth have less than perfect Fathers, but God is the perfect Father and we owe Him respect and obedience.

Until we give Him what He is due we should not expect Him to do anything for us. You said you have asked Him to take your life down the right path. That is great but you have to allow Him to control your life too. You said that you have asked for wisdom but you keep making mistakes. God will give you wisdom but you have to use it for His glory. In other words, He is not going to just give you wisdom so that you don't make mistakes, He will give you wisdom so that you can see what is going on. You need to live everyday for Him. You need to allow Him to guide your life everyday.

None of this will make sense I am afraid if you have not accepted Christ as your Savior, that is always the first step. Then you should read your Bible everyday, that is how we learn more about God and how we strengthen our faith. It is okay to tell God want you want and what would make you happy, but your whole relationship with Him should not be about Him making you happy, it should be about you making Him happy. You will find in turn that makes you happy.

One last thing. You asked why your Father has had a horrible time, being lied to, cheated, etc.., the short answer is that he as well as the rest of us live in a fallen world full of sinful beings. We long for God to step in and make the world the place it should be, but we also understand that He is holding off because of His mercy, so that more people can come to know Christ.

Well I hope I answered your questions.



E-Mail Ralph (whose comments are in green)

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