|911 - God's Help Line||Articles||Apologetics||Book Reviews|
|Contemplating Suicide?||Discipleship||Eternal Security||How to know Jesus|
|Help for the Cutter||In Memory||Marine Bloodstripes||Police Humor|
|Police Memorial||SiteMap||Statement of Faith||Testimonies|
|Thoughts to Ponder||True Life Stories||Vet's Memorial||Why I Have a Page|
Ezekiel 12:2 "Son of man, you are living among a rebellious people. They have eyes to see but do not see and ears to hear but do not hear, for they are a rebellious people." [NIV]
Like many of the other stories I've read on your site, I too felt a void in my life. I feared rejection and tried to mask the loneliness with drugs, alcohol, and sexual immorality. I had always done well in school and I'm sure gave the outward impression that life was great. I was too proud, strong, and macho to let others think otherwise.
On New Years night, 1983, I had enough. I went to a New Years eve party and consumed a fifth of Jack Daniels. I left the party went home and loaded my roommates 22. The bullet went through my temples, severing both optic nerves. The next thing I remember was hearing police officers asking me what happened? Who did this to you?
During the month of January I underwent 2 surgeries to repair the damaged caused by my suicide attempt. I also spent a week in a psychiatric ward. I lost my sense of smell and the doctors told me I would likely never see again. They were almost right. I have been totally blind for the past 28 years, yet during this time I have learned to see so much more than I ever did before. As a person who is blind, I have accomplished more than I could ever have imagined. I attained a Bachelors Degree in Business. I've been steadily employed for the past 21.5 years and my wife of 20 years is able to stay at home to care for our 6 beautiful children.
I was raised in a Christian home with loving parents who did their best to insure I had everything I needed. Why wasn't this enough? The reason was that although I knew who Jesus was; I didn't seek out or have a relationship with Him. While I lay in the hospital recovering from the fact that I attempted to take my own life, I asked why did Jesus save me? I knew the answer. I've always known the answer. First of all He loves me. Secondly He has a purpose for me. I believe he wants me to share my story of God's Amazing Grace. Amazing Grace how sweet the sound. I once was lost but now am found. Was blind but now I see. That song is now somewhat ironic to me as I once could see and was lost and now that I am blind, I am found. I have always felt ashamed of the stigma associated with attempting suicide; however, as time has past I'm feeling more and more of the urge to share what has happened in my life and that is what brought me to your site.
Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? If not click here to find out how to get one.