I just want to tell you your writing was very good. I have been contemplating suicide for a while over my year old's death. I have been told by some people the she is in heaven now and by others that she is just sleeping until the world ends and then will go to heaven. I am struggling over the sleeping part. That is what is making me think of suicide. I am a Christian and I realize that I will go to hell. I don't want to go to hell but I asked Jesus to take my life so I could go to heaven (this was just weeks before when I wasn't told about the sleeping). I was very close to a multi-car accident and he didn't take my life. I was very angry. So I realize he isn't going to take my life real soon. So that's where the suicide comes in. Your message has me going back to possibly not doing it, but I must really search hard to find my answer on whether she's in heaven or just sleeping. After that I will make my decision. Please pray for me.
My response is in Green:
I will try to address your concern, but only after I address what I think the real problem is. Let me restate what I understand that you are saying. You are telling me that if you decide that your daughter is in soul sleep waiting for Christ's return, then you will kill yourself even though you understand that you will spend eternity in hell and never see your daughter again. On the other hand if you decide that your daughter is now with Christ in heaven then you will continue to live.
You don't see any problem with that thinking? Before I address where I think your daughter is, I have to ask you why in the world if she is in soul sleep would you want to kill yourself? But that brings me to a much bigger issue and that is your relationship with God. Christ is to be the most important thing in our lives. This does not seem to be true of you, or you would not be even thinking about killing yourself. Look at these passages of Scripture:
(1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV)  Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;  you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
(Romans 14:79 NIV)  For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone.  If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.  For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.
Now I will tell you that I can't imagine what you have gone through and are going through. I can't imagine the pain of losing a child, but you should be getting strength from the Lord, not turning your back on Him.
Suicide would not get you anything other than an eternity in torment and separation from God and your daughter and your other loved ones. That makes no sense, and I truly believe this is an attack on your soul by Satan.
First get your relationship with Christ back on track.
Okay let me address the sleeping thing. Your daughter's body is asleep so to speak awaiting the time of Christ's return when it will be resurrected and made perfect and rejoined by your daughters soul. You should read your Bible it will give you these answers. Look at the story Jesus told about the rich man and Lazarus. Did they sleep? No, they both went to Hades. Now the thing to remember here is that before Christ died, all people went to Hades, there was a good side and a bad side, but now that Christ has died and resurrected the souls of believers go directly to heaven to be with Him.
The Bible often speaks of death as sleeping, but it is not soul sleep. You can see that in other places also, like on the Mount of Transfiguration. Moses and Elijah both appeared with Christ. Now Elijah did not die, he was taken to heaven, but Moses did die, yet there he was with Jesus. He was not asleep.
You have been needlessly upset because of your lack of Bible knowledge. Faith also comes from knowing and reading the Bible so you need to get into the Bible and find out what it says. Get your relationship with Christ back to where it should be and the first thing you need to do is ask for forgiveness for even thinking of killing yourself. This is not honoring God.
E-Mail Ralph (Whose comments are in green)