How do people accept God?

Hi;

This is a long one. I have been reading around your page. Its full of people with the same basic feelings. I am not much different from these people myself. Although I have never tried it, I have contemplated suicide many times since I was young. First of all, I was born Catholic, and adopted protestant. Then put into a catholic grade school, and attended a protestant church with my parents. When I was young I think I believed. Its hard to look back and find perfect memories that far back. I have not gone to church and lost faith when I was about 15. I don't know how to find God. The way I interpret things you say - that's believe (or there is no hope for you, you'll burn in hell) I can't just snap my fingers and believe.

When I have tired to talk to God, I feel kinda weird (hard to put into words) like its fake, like he wouldn't listen cause I don't know if he is real. I don't know what else to say about that - accept how do people find God? I have done my share of sinning - no denying that. I have a significant other and a child by him, were not married. We were brought up in very different ways, which contributes to many of the problems that we have. Male dominant, compared to equals, open and loving compared to someone who is very closed, and difficult to talk to. I have lost family, and friends like most people. I am a nurse who has seen all kinds of suffering and death. I go to work, come home (which I don't feel like its home) that is about it. I can't get motivated some days to get off the couch. I am so wrapped up in the woes of my life I neglect the feelings of my son - I feel badly about it, but I (can't believe I am going to say this) I feel like I regret having him (or any child) I love him, but I don't know if I like being a mom. I am emotionally miserable with his father, but I love him so much, I give and give, and seem to get little in return. He isn't abusive, we don't drink (accept socially), I just need more than I can get from him. I have left him before, and always come back. He says he loves me, and is always accountable for his actions, and whereabouts.. Basically, I feel I have no one. Not my 'boyfriend', not my son, not family, and not my friends. I feel like a robot going through the motions of life with no hope for happiness (not just in a relationship) or a future.

I get so depressed sometimes, suicide is all I think about... how, when, all of that. From my work I have acquired the proper meds to make me go to sleep and never wake up. In a way I would feel bad hurting people that are close to me, but in another way, I don't care. As you said, they will eventually get over it. Life goes on. Why do I have to be around with it??

Thanks for listening - it helps to vent.

My response is in Green:

Believe it or not I understand what you are saying. I have felt just like that in the past. I felt all alone even though there were people all around me.

I am glad you decided to write me. I think I can help you. What you are feeling is the emptiness that comes from not really knowing God. God made us for His pleasure and to have a relationship with Him. Until we do have that relationship we will always feel empty and like there is something missing. I have heard that described as the God shaped hole.

I need to start at the beginning just to make sure you know what I am talking about. If I cover stuff you already know then please forgive me. First we were created by God, who is a real being. He is holy and can't stand sin in any shape or form. When He created Adam and Eve they were without sin, but in His great love God gave them a free will to choose do what is right or to disobey Him. To make a long story short, they sinned. Because of their sin all of us since then have been born with a sinful nature. In other words we tend to do what is wrong. None of us is good. Just look at your child, you don't have to teach a child to lie, if it suits their purpose they will do it naturally. You have to teach them to tell the truth, which does not come naturally unless again it serves their purposes.

Now as I said God can't stand sin. His holy nature demands punishment for sin and we have all sinned. (Romans 3:23 NIV) "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"

The punishment that He demands is death. So we are all under a death sentence. That leaves us all with a huge problem which we cannot take care of ourselves. Yet God loves us and wants us to be able to have a relationship with Him. Because God cannot change His nature and because His nature demands death as a punishment for sin, He cannot just forgive and forget. But He did something that we would never have thought of; His holy nature demands death for sin but that would mean we would be forever separated from Him; so since He loved us so much He sent His Son (Jesus) to earth as a human. Now Jesus is also God, He is one of what we call the Trinity, which is one God, but in three persons; Father, Son (Jesus) and Holy Spirit. So God (Jesus) came to earth as a human, who was born sinless, lived a sinless life and died for our sins. He died in our place; thus fulfilling the demand for death as a punishment for sin.

That much would have been great, but God was not done. After three days Jesus arose (came back to life). Now what difference does this make? Well it makes a lot of difference because if He had not come back to life with a new perfect body, then we would only be able to look forward to being spirits for eternity. God made us flesh so that we could enjoy the other things that He created for us; such as food, beautiful scenery, etc... But death come into the world because of Adam and Eve's sin and our whole world started to die at that point. They say that the day we are born we start dying. That is so true! Anyway, since Jesus was resurrected with a new perfect body (by perfect I mean it will never die, it will never get sick, it will never feel pain, etc...) then we also can know that after we die we will receive a new perfect body. (John 11:25-26 NIV) Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; {26} and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"

So how do we get all this? That is easy, we only have to believe that God does love us, that He send Jesus to die for us, that He raised Him again and that He will forgive us if we ask. Then all we have to do is ask and He will. (John 3:16 NIV) "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Sometimes, it sounds almost too easy. I often use this to illustrate it: Let's say you kill someone and a cop is watching you do it. You are caught and found guilty in court. The judge sentences you to die for your crime. You are sent to death row. The very night that you are to die the judge shows up at the cell door and tells you that he loves you. He goes on to tell you that he can't change the law and he can't change the sentence, but he can help you. At this point he takes out the cell key and unlocks the cell door. He tells you that if you will come out of the cell he will come in and take your place. He says that if you do that you can go free. Here is your choice, you have to walk over and open the door and walk out of the cell. If you sit there and think that the judge is kidding, there is no way he would really do that for you, then you will die because you did not come out. If you sit there and tell yourself that you must be dreaming because you don't believe there even is a judge, then you will die because you did not walk out of the cell.

God is standing at the cell door of your heart, it is unlocked and He is waiting for you to walk out. He understands that you might have some doubts, but you have to take the first step. Talk to Him, tell Him that you have doubts, but that you want to believe. Of course first you have to admit that you are in that cell because you did wrong. If you never admit you are guilty of any sin then you can never be forgiven, because you will never ask. See free choice comes with a price, it makes us responsible.

Well I hope that helps you. I will pray for you. Please feel free to write me anytime. Ask whatever you want to, I will try to answer.

Ralph

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