I came upon your article about suicide today. I read it thoroughly and agree with most of what you say. however, at the end of the article you wrote that this was not for those who are in someway mentally imbalanced. While I agree with you wholeheartedly, I am one who has been treated for depression for the past five years and am doing well with that aspect of my life. However, due to an unfortunately incident last weekend, one which has changed me forever, I am seriously considering suicide as one option now. Have I tried in the past? Yes, but failed. I am totally alone in this world and have no one to tell. I have a therapist I have seen for quite some time however, she seems to have more faith in me than I do. While I am not at this moment suicidal, I have been close many times in the past week. When I mentioned to the therapist my feelings I was given a prescription for meds that would surely take care of my suicide attempt. I believe it is a sign or an omen to just do it. I do know that God will forgive me for what happened last week, even though it was not my fault, but I seem to be having a harder time trying to forgive myself, hence, the depression, sadness and guilt.
I apologize for this letter if it upsets you but felt I had to write. Thank you.
My response is in Green:
Thanks for writing me. Let me clear something up right up front. If you are rationally thinking out whether suicide is an option for you, then you are not in the category I was speaking about at the end of my page when I said someone with a chemical imbalance. What I was referring to was someone who because of an imbalance cannot make a rational decision.
You said you have been to therapy for some time. I don't doubt it and I will tell you why you continue in therapy, because they don't have the answers. Only God holds the answer, in fact God IS the answer. He is the answer to depression, He is the answer to feelings of hopelessness and loss. He is the Answer!
This world has so many problems because of sin. When God created the universe and everything else that we know, He made them perfect. However, God wanted a love relationship with mankind. He could not really have a love relationship unless we had a choice in the matter. He did not want robots or slaves, He wanted our love because we choose to give it to Him. So He gave Adam and Eve and us, free will. Adam and Eve could and we still can choose to follow Him and His instructions or we can rebel and go our own way. Adam and Eve decided to do what God told them not to do. In fact it was the ONLY thing He told them they could not do, yet that is the very thing they did. We are still like that today. Since we all came from Adam and Eve, and because they sinned, we are all born with a sinful nature. We tend to sin instead of doing what is right. That is the reason the world is so screwed up.
We were created to have a personal relationship with God, and until we do we will be miserable. There will seem to be something missing in our lives. There will be an emptiness deep inside of us. It affects different people in different ways. Some people get depressed, others try to fill that emptiness with things, like sex, alcohol, adrenaline (sky diving, driving fast, taking chances, etc...), work (workaholics), drugs, and the list goes on. The problem is that nothing works other than filling our lives with God.
After Adam and Eve sinned the world started to die. When a person is born they start to die. This was not the case when God first created the world, but it is now. Sin is an offense against God. All sin is an offense against God, no matter how small we think it is. God is holy and His holy nature cannot stand sin of any kind. His holy nature demands death to everyone who sins. That presents us with a problem because we have all sinned. (Romans 3:23b NIV) for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God... (Ezekiel 18:4 NIV) For every living soul belongs to me, the father as well as the son--both alike belong to me. The soul who sins is the one who will die.
There is nothing we can do about this, we are doomed and unable to change our sentence. But God still loves us so He took care of our problem for us. He sent His only Son to die for our sins, in other words to pay the death sentence for us. (John 3:16 NIV) "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Eternal life; that is what God offers us. We may die physically because of this evil world but we can live again with Him forever. Jesus not only died on the cross for our sins, but He arose again with a new resurrected body. To do so He had to overcome death, which up to that time had been victor over every living being. Since Jesus conquered death, we know that if we believe in Him, we too will conquer death and someday live with Him in a new perfect body. This verse shows God's love for us. (Romans 5:8 NIV) But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
But we have to accept this free gift that God offers us. We need to first come to the place where we admit that we are sinners and that there is nothing that we can do about it ourselves. Then we need to believe that Jesus was and is God, that He came to earth as a human, that He died for our sins and arose again, and finally that if we ask Him, He will forgive us of our sins. Then we need to do just that. At that point we are saved. (John 5:24 NIV) "I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life.
Well that solve all your problems? Yes and no. It will solve the worst problem you have and that is it will save you from the death sentence hanging over your head, but it might not take all your earthly problems away. However, that is not the end of the story. Once you accept Christ as your Savior, He will come live in your heart and He will walk with you each day. He will not leave you no matter what trials and tribulations come your way. You won't have to face anything alone again.
Here is a favorite verse of mine, because it is a promise for those who place their faith and trust in Jesus: (Revelation 21:4 NIV) He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
Suicide is not the answer. If you know Christ as your Savior then it is not the answer because it is like spitting in Jesus' face and saying, "You can't help me, because you don't love me enough." It would be willful sin and from what I read in the Bible that will keep you out of heaven. I would not take the chance. If you don't know Christ it is not the answer because it will send you to hell just that much quicker. No matter what your problems are here in this life, they cannot compare to what hell will be like. At least in this life you can look forward to dying. If you are a Christian, that even begins to sound good because to be absent from the body (to be dead physically) is to be with Christ in heaven. But it is up to God when that happens, it is not our choice to make. Even if you don't know Christ you can look forward to dying, because you can convince yourself that dying will take away the pain. However, if you die and don't know Christ and you find out I am right that hell is infinitely worse then what is going on now, you have a problem, because you can't even long for death anymore, you are stuck with your situation. There are no second chances. (Hebrews 9:27 NIV) Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment...
The bottom line is this; either you accept God's grace and free offer of salvation through His Son, Jesus Christ while you are alive or you will be eternally lost, separated from God forever. You can go to therapy for the rest of your life, but the doctor you really need is Christ. He is the only one who has the cure for what is wrong with you.
Am I too blunt? Maybe, but at least I am willing to tell you the truth. I don't pull punches and I won't send you off to buy another drug which will not really help anyway. I also won't make another appointment for you to come see me next week so I can get more money out of your pain. I also won't refuse to talk to you if you don't have any money. God's gift is free and you only need to get it once. Jesus did all the work, He died already. He paid the price you could never pay. All you have to do is believe and trust Him and ask Him to help you.
I will pray for you. If you have any further questions please write me back. I want to help you, but ultimately I can't help you only God can.
E-Mail Ralph (Whose comments are in green)