You saying that suicide is a sin does not help anyone.

In all of my studies of the Bible, I agree that suicide is a sin. I, for years, have counselled others of this. I never thought that a problem could ever be bad enough to take this avenue. I have recently had a loss that could have changed all of this. I lost my wife at her age of 34 after a five year battle with cancer. I thought that I would be prepared for the inevitable. I cannot understand what is happening to me. I go into a mental state that I have no control over. Until now, I never realized that a person could lose total control of their mind. I am scared. I have an eight year old son. He needs me. How can I fall into the mindset that I would be happier right now with her. I would be careful giving counsel that it is wrong and this is sin. That, right now, doesn't help.

My response is in Green:

Thanks for writing me. I am terribly sorry for your loss, however, it does not change what I believe. I mentioned several times on my page that I don't think God will judge someone who is not in control of their own emotions or judgments. That does not include people who just don't want to go on and decide that they want to die now on their own time table. That is not God's plan for you or He would take you now.

Now is the time you need to lean on God the most, not turn your back and do your own thing. I understand that you are scared and lonely, but isn't that when you need God the most? If you kill yourself you are telling God that you don't care what His plan for your life was, you are also telling Him that the pain you are in now, is too much for Him to handle for you. You are telling Him that you don't believe that He can or will help you. What reason would you give Him? Is it that He is not powerful enough to help you, or is it that He does not love you enough to help you?

I don't blame you for wanting to be with your wife more than living, but that is not legally your choice. What are your actions telling your son? If you were to follow through and kill yourself what is he to think? Why should he trust God if you don't? Like I said I don't blame you for the feelings you are having, but you must fight them with God's help. Talk to Him, pour your heart out to Him. Don't think He does not know what it is like to lose a loved one. Remember He sent His Son to die for us and to take our filth and sin on Himself. Jesus suffered loss too and cried over the death of Lazarus. He does understand and He will help you, but you have to trust Him.

I am not trying to scare you but I want you to look at one passage and take it to heart: (1 Corinthians 3:16-17 NIV) Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? {17} If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple.

As a Christian you are God's temple. You no longer are your own, you were bought with a price. I believe that you can reject God even after you know Him, and walk away from your faith, but that is not what you want. Don't let Satan take the pain you feel and destroy you with it. It (the pain) is a foe just like Satan and has to be fought the same way, through prayer and reading of God's word daily. You also need to get with other Christians who can help support you. God organized the community of believers so that we could support each other. Again don't let Satan take that from you. There are other people out there who know what you are going through and can and will help you. Just don't give up. Tell God you trust Him, but that you are weak. Remember He is strong in our weakness.

I hope I have not upset you with what I wrote. I will pray for you. I just can't and won't make people feel good without telling them what God puts on my heart. I long for the rapture of the church every day. I don't want to be here either, but I know as long as God wants me to be here He will give me one more breath. My job is to take that breath and use it to promote His Kingdom. I am not trying to be judgmental, it is not my place to judge anyone, but it is my place to proclaim the truth and I will continue to try my best to do so.

Father: please help this family. Help them to lean on you more now than ever before. Help them to realize that you are there with them. Help them to know that you will never leave them or forsake them. Father we don't know why this young wife was taken, but we trust you and we know that some day we will understand what seems to senseless to us right now. In our ignorance and our weakness we praise you because we know you love us and have our well being in mind. Father I pray that you will comfort this family and give them the grace to deal with their grief. Bless them and take hold of them with your righteous right hand. Thank you Lord.

Ralph

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