I don't see any reason to live.

Hi, I did a search on Yahoo: "I want to kill myself" and your page was the first to pop up. I'd like to thank you for trying to help out people in need. I like you're reasonable replies and especially your open-minded statements. I personally am considering ending my life because I don't see a need for it. I have taken steps to gain a relationship from Christ, but I guess either 1) He's waiting for me to go off the deep end and miraculously begin a holy-life with him , 2) He just does not exist. That's the most confusing thing I've come across. My mother placed me through Roman Catholic School until I was 16 (I'm 23 now) and I've been to church groups to find Christ (Baptist and Non-Denominational) during some late-teen times in my life. One thing is that I don't want to be here anymore. I've helped people (Volunteered at a local Food-Bank, Taught some 6th graders) and have been a humble individual because it's who I want to be, not because I expect rewards in the end. I don't consider myself anything special. I know my parents are really praying for me because lately I've been struck with some very intense internal depression and it shows. I just want to ask you to pray for me, because the way things are and have been going for the past handful of years, killing myself is foreshadowing my destiny.

My response is in Green:

Thank you for writing me. I will pray for you. You said that you had taken steps to gain a relationship with Christ. I was just wondering what those steps were? The reason I am asking is because it makes a big difference.

The Bible is pretty clear on what you have to do to have a relationship with Christ: (Romans 10:9-10 NIV) That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. {10} For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.

So what must you believe and what must you confess with your mouth? Well it is important that you believe that Jesus is the Son of God (He is also God) that He came to earth as a human being and died for your sins. That He arose on the third day and that He will forgive you if you ask Him to. At that point all you have to do is confess with your mouth. In other words pray, talk to Him and tell Him that you believe and that you want to be forgiven of your sins. That is it. If you do that as the Bible says, you will be saved. It does not matter if you "feel" anything special at that point. You might not, or you might, what is important is that God says you have passed from death to life. You can trust God. You don't have to become a saint to become a Christian, all you have to do is believe in your heart and confess with your mouth. Period... God will help you live the right kind of life after you are saved. You can't do it on your own anyway, no one can.

You don't have to speak in tongues to know you are saved, you don't have to feel warm inside, nothing, you are saved if you did what the Bible says you have to do. It is not up to you, or how you feel, it is up to God. God says that if you believe and ask Him He will save you.

Okay now that we have gotten that out of the way, let me ask you another question: Why do you want to die? You said you are depressed, okay, but what do you think death will give you? What do you think will happen to you when you die? This is the most important question you will ever answer.

If you think that all your pain and loneliness will disappear when you die you are wrong. If you die without having a relationship with Jesus Christ then the pain and loneliness is just going to begin. Satan may tell you that you will be happier and better off dead, but it is a lie. It might even be Satan who is convincing you that you can't have a relationship with Christ. He would love for you to kill yourself. Why? Because he hates God, and God loves you. He can't hurt God in anyway, other than by hurting you whom God loves.

The other thing I would suggest is that you talk to God the way you wrote me. Just tell Him what you are thinking and that you want to know Him. The Bible makes it clear that if you truly want to know God you will find Him: (Proverbs 8:17 NIV) I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.

(Jeremiah 29:13 NIV) You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Also one of the best things you can do for yourself is to read the Bible. There are several good reasons to read the Bible; it will help you get closer to God and understand who He is, and it is how you strengthen your faith: (Romans 10:17 NIV) Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.

Don't give up. I know that God has a purpose for you, otherwise you would not take another breath. Every time that you think about suicide think about what happens after that, and then pray that God will help you defeat those thoughts. He will help you if you really want the help.

Ralph

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