ive been thinkin about suicide for a while now. my friends are the olny things in this world that keeps me alive. i like one girl but she doesnt like me. it sucks. life in general sucks. i screw up a lot and it always makes me abashed. i have many friends but my friend matt is the only one i know that does acctually understand me. he is also suicidal. is girlfriend dumped him and it made im suicidal since then. they got back together but he isnt the same. im kinda the same way. my girlfriend dumped me and i truely loved her. i was put through ell. i still am. just about all my friends are in alegbra in school but im stuck in pre alegbra. im very smart but i cant concentrate. please give me any advice that does not have to do w/ religion.
My response is in Green:
Thanks for writing me, but I am sorry I can't give you any advise that does not have to do with religion. Most of the problems you described are normal for a teenager. You are not the first person to feel this way and you won't be the last. I know that does not help you feel any better but it should help some.
I have a couple of questions for you. What do you think suicide would do for you? I remember when I was thinking about it and I thought that it would solve all my problems. I thought it would give me rest and I would not suffer anymore. I thought that death would be like rest. The problem was that I was not thinking very well. I did not stop to really think about what happens after a person dies. All I knew was that I did not want to be where I was doing what I was, I wanted to have peace and feel better.
This is the reason I can't answer you without bringing my religion into the conversation. See whether you want to admit it or not death is something you will have to face one day. Maybe soon if you decide to kill yourself, so you better think about what death is before you do anything. What do you think happens?
Do you become part of the universe? Do you live in heaven if you have been a good enough person? What do you want it to be like? Do you want to die and then find that it is very nice and your have no problems? I think we would all like that to be true, but it is not. I don't believe very many people who are truly honest with themselves believe they will cease to exist when they die. It is easy for us to think about the time before we were born and realize that we did not exist then, but it is just as hard for us to think that there will be a day when we just cease to exist.
That is God. That is why you know in your heart that there is something after death. The person you are, not your body, but what makes you, you, the emotions, the thoughts, the personality; that will live forever. Isn't that the whole point of suicide? Isn't the idea of killing yourself so that when you wake up after your death things will be better? Even with the thoughts of suicide people are thinking and knowing in their hearts that death is not the end.
So if death is not the end then what is it? That is the million dollar question. I guess you could take your pick. If you don't want to believe God is real then you can choose one of the other religions. How about one that believes in reincarnation? Let's look at it. They claim that after you die you will come back as another person. If you lived a good life this time you will come back in better shape then you are now, in a better life. But if you lived a bad life you will come back in a worse life as punishment. Here is my question. Who says? If there is no God, then who is forcing these people to come back and suffer because they were bad in this life? There has to be someone forcing them or they would not agree to come back like that.
See my point, even those religions which deny there is a God believe there is one, they just don't know who He is! I guess they think He is some big cosmic energy who makes people do what they don't want to do.
Why don't people want to believe in a loving God? Well it is not the loving part that they have a problem with, it is the justice part that bothers people. See God loves you but He is also holy and demands justice. You have sinned, we all have sinned and so we all are guilty and sentenced to death for our sins. But that is where the love of God comes in. He still loves us even though we are evil and we makes lots of mistakes. See I told you it was normal for a person to make mistakes, or screw up as you said.
(Romans 5:8 NIV) But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Think about what that means. God loves us even though we do wrong things. He did not want us to have to serve that death sentence for our sins, so He sent Jesus to die for us and pay our debt. And He did it before we asked for His help, or even realized that we needed it.
Now the death that God is talking about is not the physical death that we think of, it is what is called the second death. That death is the punishment for sins. It is what happens after we die. The moment we die, our fates are sealed and there is no turning back. Some of this is hard to understand but hang with me for a few minutes. God has a book (it is probably not a real book, but He calls it that so we will understand it) called the Book of Life. When we accept God's gift of Salvation by believing that Jesus die for our sins and then asking Him to forgive us, our names are written in the Book of Life.
When we die the Book of Life is checked to see if our names are there or not. If your name is there then you go to heaven to be with Jesus. If on the other hand your name is not in the Book of Life, then you are sent to punishment. One day God will bring all those people whose names were not in the Book of Life when they died and He will judge them. He will open other books which will have listed everything the person ever did in them. Every screw up, every mistake, every sin will be read out and the person will know that they are doomed. All the good things the person did will also be read, but none of the good things will be good enough to get them into heaven. At the end of the reading, God will sentence them to punishment for eternity.
Now if the person's name was found in the Book of Life, they won't ever stand before God in judgment like these people. All the screw ups, all the mistakes and all the sins will be wiped out and never read. They will not have to pay for any of them, they will spend eternity with God.
One way or the other or should I say one place or the other, everyone will live forever. The problem is that those in punishment won't want to live forever. They will want to die but they won't be able to. That is what is so tragic about suicide, the person is not getting away from anything, they are sealing their future in concrete.
There is another point I want to make. Why do you think that suicide sounds like such a good idea? I think the reason is simple: Satan. Many people have this misguided idea of who Satan is. They think that he is the god of hell, that he gets to torment people in hell and therefore he would like more people there. Or that he hates us so he wants us in hell. I think both of those are wrong. First Satan is a fallen angel. He was created by God just like us and just like humans; started out perfect but then he sinned. He decided that he wanted to be like God and be worshiped. God does not play that game, there is only one God and He will not allow anyone to take His place.
God prepared hell for Satan, but did not send him there yet. God did not give Satan any chance of forgiveness, there was no one to pay his debt other than himself. Then when God created humans and we sinned, God did something that drove Satan nuts, God forgave us by sending His Son to die for our sins. Satan knows that God loves us. Satan hates God but cannot hurt God. However, Satan knows that if he can cause people to reject God, God because of His justice must condemn them to hell for eternity. So in effect Satan can hurt God by causing people to go to hell.
That is why so many people think of suicide. That is why suicide seems to be the answer. Satan will even try to convince Christians, who should know better, that suicide is the answer. As long as you have breath in your lungs you can still accept God and His gift of salvation, but once you are dead it is too late to make a decision.
So in a nut shell there is the story. That is why suicide seems like it is the answer but it is not. God loves you and wants to help you with your problems, but you have to trust Him. You also have to understand that it is you who owe Him, not that He owes you anything. He is willing to forgive you, but you need to realize that you need forgiveness.
Will your life suddenly be trouble free if you ask Jesus to forgive you? No, you will still screw up and you will still have people who don't like you. You will still have many of the same problems you have now, the difference is how you will be able to handle those problems. You won't be handling them alone anymore. The God of the universe will help you.
I hope I have given you a few things to think about. Suicide is not the answer. God is the answer. Suicide would only lock you into the problems you have now forever.
Take care and feel free to write back.
E-Mail Ralph (Whose comments are in green)