I'm tired of screwing up everything.

I am a 24 year old virgin. I'm not gay. I like girls but I'm to much of a coward to try to get one. My self esteem is shot because I'm overweight. I've been that way all of my life. I was always teased and put down. I've been beaten up several times for no reason. My life is meaningless and it's always been that way. If God loves me so much why did he allow my life to crash like this. I'm so screwed up my life here on earth will never be right. I've tried to fix things but I always fail. My temper is so bad that in the last two years I have been in several fights resulting in people getting seriously hurt. Fights that could have been prevented if I was the guy I used to be. I used to hate fighting, now I don't care if I kill someone. Which, I came close to doing recently. I have tried praying, but it's like God is ignoring me. How do I fix things?

My response is in Green:

Maybe God was trying to get your attention. Have you ever thought of that? If God loves you enough that He knows the only way you will come to Him is by making you feel like your life is meaningless, then He has done it. We are all born as sinner and need to be reconciled to God. We are all under a death sentence for our sins, because all sin is against God and God's holy nature demands death for our actions. But He loves you and me enough that He sent His only Son to die in our place. We have to believe that and we have to have faith that if we ask He will forgive us, then we need to do just that; ask Him to forgive us.

Look at what God told the Israelites: (Amos 4:6-11 NIV) "I gave you empty stomachs in every city and lack of bread in every town, yet you have not returned to me," declares the LORD. {7} "I also withheld rain from you when the harvest was still three months away. I sent rain on one town, but withheld it from another. One field had rain; another had none and dried up. {8} People staggered from town to town for water but did not get enough to drink, yet you have not returned to me," declares the LORD. {9} "Many times I struck your gardens and vineyards, I struck them with blight and mildew. Locusts devoured your fig and olive trees, yet you have not returned to me," declares the LORD. {10} "I sent plagues among you as I did to Egypt. I killed your young men with the sword, along with your captured horses. I filled your nostrils with the stench of your camps, yet you have not returned to me," declares the LORD. {11} "I overthrew some of you as I overthrew Sodom and Gomorrah. You were like a burning stick snatched from the fire, yet you have not returned to me," declares the LORD.

So maybe the question shouldn't be if God loves you so much why He allow your life to be like this, but rather why you have not tried to get right with God. He loves you and He has plans for your life, but I will warn you, it is harder than it looks. If you decide to accept Christ as your savior then you have to be willing to allow Him to change you. Take away your anger and your temper and lead your life. Your life will always be meaningless until you find out why God created you.

You said you have tried praying but God is ignoring you. Well what did you pray for? Did you pray that He would forgive you and take control of your life? Or did you just pray that He would make your life better? He is not a genie in the sky that is just waiting to do what we want Him to do. He is Lord and God and He wants to show you how much He loves you, but you have to be ready to come to Him and allow Him to run your life.

You titled your e-mail to me "I'm tired of screwing up everything." So let Him take over and run your life. What have you got to lose?

Ralph

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