hi. (umm i am like sorda nevous about telling a stranger this but i know i need help.) look i am 14 almost 15 and well i am depressed. majorly depressed. i have no life. i mean come on, i have no friends, i am picked cuz my apearance is different, soccer practices are really crappy (i get made fun of, tripped, soccer balls are kicked at me, and the rest of it.), my parents are constently yelling at me, i lock my self in my room and think of ways of suicide. i have tried suicide once but i couldnt go through with it. basicly i tried cutting my throat (i cringe at the word knife now.). i i am supposidly catholic, but i dont understand anything. i have researched other religions and they seem "fake" too. there is like only one thing that i understand and it is more of a culture not a religion and it is goth. i mean i love arts, music, i live my life in the dark, and so on. i dont know what to do. i am lost in this world. and i know that i wont understand it. all i think about now is suicide. my school grades are low, i dont do any work, and all the teachers hate me.
i know that a 14 year old person should be having the time of their life and stuff but i'm not. i try to live my life as long as i can, but my efferts will fall short soon i know it.
well i mise well get going. umm just e-mail me when ever..if you want. adios
My response is in Green:
I will try to help you. First let me just tell you that suicide is not the answer. You need to ask yourself a couple of questions; what do you think suicide will get you? What happens when you die? Until you can answer those two questions you can't afford to kill yourself. I can tell you what happens, but it is up to you if you want to believe it or not. I will tell you that in your heart you know that this life is not all there is, you know that if you kill yourself there will be something afterwards. Many people deny that and try to claim that once they are dead they are like a dog and just cease to exist, but deep down they know that is not true.
Why is suicide so appealing to you? I will tell you that most people say it is because they don't like their life, they are unhappy and they feel that death will bring relief from that. They think it will be peaceful and restful. The problem is that death will not give you those things. If a person commits suicide all they will do is manage to give themselves more problems. Even the old problems won't go away. You would remain you after death, meaning that you mentally would be the same person. You would remember your parents. Now you may not like them now, but once dead you would be haunted by questions. Were they hurt that you killed yourself? Did they care at all that you killed yourself? Etc... The same goes for all the people you know. Would the world care that you were gone? If you had not killed yourself would you have been happy in a few years? Would you have ever found someone who loved you and whom you loved? The questions would haunt you for all of eternity.
But that is not the worst part, the worst part is that you would be separated from God's love. Let me give you the basics. You said you grew up Catholic but you don't understand, okay then just look at this.
We have all done wrong things, called sins. God is holy and demands death for anyone who sins. (Ezekiel 18:4 NIV) For every living soul belongs to me, the father as well as the son--both alike belong to me. The soul who sins is the one who will die.
We are all under a death sentence from a Holy God, who can't stand sin and we have all sinned. That is not good, but God loves us and does not want us to go to hell to be punished for our sins. He can't just forget what we have done because He is Holy. His Holy nature demands that some one pays for those sins. (John 3:16 NIV) "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
(Romans 5:8 NIV) But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. See we don't have to be good enough for God, all we have to do is believe that He loves us and sent His Son to die in our place.
If we die without getting right with God we will go to hell for eternity and suffer in punishment for our sins. However, if we will believe that Jesus is the Son of God and that He died for our sins, and if we confess our sins (admit them to God) and ask Him to forgive us He will. And if we believe that after He died God the Father raised Him back to life then we will be saved and if we die we will go to be with God. (Romans 10:9 NIV) That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
Suicide is never the way to take care of problems. As long as you have breath in your lungs there is hope. There is hope that things will get better, there is hope that you will find God and get right with Him. But once you are dead you will never have any hope, because things will never change.
If you get right with God that does not mean that all your problems will instantly go away, but it does mean that you will have hope and that God will help you deal with those problems you have. Without God there is no hope now or after death.
You say you don't have any friends. I felt like that when I was your age too. I was made fun of also, but you know the older I get the less I care what other people think. Having lots of friends won't make the world a better place. Look at all the sports stars and movie stars who ruin their lives with drugs or suicide. They had lots of money, they had lots of friends, and yet they were not happy. That is because you and they were created to have a relationship with your Creator and until you do you won't know the true meaning of life.
Knowing God is not the same thing as religion, doing a bunch of special things to get right with God. Those things are fake and worthless. Having a relationship with God means getting right with Him through Jesus Christ and then maintaining that relationship. That means finding out who God is and talking to Him. The best place to start to get to know Him is by reading His word for yourself. Don't listen to what other people tell you, find out for yourself.
You also said one other thing that I want to address. You may not like what I have to say, but you asked for help and I am going to give it to you. You said you live in the dark and you understand Goth. Well that is part of the problem. The more you withdraw and live in the dark the worse things will get. You need to come out into the light and find the truth.
I will pray for you, but it is ultimately up to you and no one else.
E-Mail Ralph (Whose comments are in green)