im so so sad and i just want to get away from this world...... i havent been to church for months -i used to go all the time.. i hate feeling this way. i just dont know what to do
My response is in Green:
Then you need to go to God. He is right there waiting for you. The thing to remember is that death would only lock the horrible feelings you have now onto your back for eternity. That is not what you want. Right now, you can dream of being dead because it seems that would solve your problems, but once you are dead and realize that did not take care of it, what is there to look forward to? Nothing except an eternal existence that remains the same.
I know it sounds simple, but God is the answer. You want to get away from this world and God tells those who love Him not to be part of this world. See you and God want the same thing for you, but He has the way to do it.
Yes you should go to church, because that is how we get fed and get support, but it is not the answer, only God is the answer. You don't need a church right now, you need to just fall into God's arms and ask Him to first forgive you of your sins, and then to help you to put your eyes on Jesus and get them off of everything else.
It may sound just like words to you, but I have been were you are. I may not know exactly what you are going through, but I have been to a point in my life where death sounded so good. It sounded like peace and rest. Oh how I longed for rest... The problem is that is Satan telling you those things. Yes you need rest but death is not how to get it. God even addresses this issue:
(Matthew 11:29-30 NIV) Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
(Isaiah 40:28-31 NIV) Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;  but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
God is where the rest is, He never gets tired of helping us. I praise God that He reached out to me and He is reaching out to you. Until you get in a close relationship with Him, you can't know what real peace is. Look at the world around you. Sure people look like they are happy and like they don't have any problems, but it is all a front and behind that front are empty lives. Look for example at the stars. Whether it is movie stars or sports stars. They have it all, they have more money than they can spend. They are surrounded by people who want to please them. Their lives look perfect, but they aren't. Look at how many of them struggle with drug addictions, or alcohol abuse, or have failed or failing marriages. Look at how many of them have committed suicide or have tired. Their lives are empty and they want exactly what you want, they want peace and rest for their souls. Money and friends can't buy that, only a relationship with God can give it to you.
First we have to come to the realization that we have sinned against God in the past, that we are rightly under a death sentence from Him because He is holy. That does not mean that people have not abused you or sinned against you, but all sin is an offense against God. God will punish those who have hurt you too, but for the moment that should not be your concern, your concern needs to be your situation. As I said you are under a death sentence by a Holy God, but He loves you and does not want you to have to serve that sentence, so He took care of it for you by sending His only Son to die in your place. To die for your sins.
There is just one thing you have to do, that is to believe that Jesus is God's Son and that He died for you and ask Him to forgive you and come into your life. That is it. Once you have done that you have passed from death to life. That is when Jesus will give you rest for your soul. The moment you do that, you can start looking forward to eternity with Jesus. Do you hate the pain and suffering in this world? Of course you do just like I do, so look at this. This passage describes what eternity will be like for those who spend it with God.
(Revelation 21:4 NIV) He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
Think about that; no more death, or dying, no more pain or sorrow, no more tears because there will be nothing to cry about. That is the way creation was suppose to be before sin came into the world. Everything bad is the result of sin, once God does away with sin things will be like they should be. People say they want God to do away with sin today, but the problem is that sin lives in us until we ask Jesus into our hearts to forgive us. So if God were to destroy sin today, He would have to destroy most of the people in the world along with it. He loves us all and wants more people to come to know Him. (2 Peter 3:9 NIV) The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
Again I praise God that He waits, because if He had not I would be spending eternity in hell. I pray that you will take Him up on His offer of eternal life too and experience rest for your soul. Yes it is just that easy. That does not mean that instantly your life will be totally without problems. It won't, but instantly you will have the God of the universe walking with you and helping you face whatever comes your way. Like I said I know this is true from personal experience.
I will pray for you.
only this july i got baptised. i am 20... its funny how things can change so quickly. i never thought i would feel this way again after i had found God. i am just confused -i dont understand how i can go from feeling the best i have ever felt, to the worst i have ever felt..in just a couple of months.
thank you for your nice words
You have found out something that many Christians know. That is that Satan can play on your emotions and therefore your relationship with God has to be based on faith and not emotions. Satan can even make you feel unsaved, but he can't make you unsaved. God says that if you believe in Jesus Christ as your savior and walk in the light then you have been saved. It does not matter how you feel, it matters that God gave you that promise and God can't lie.
The same is true about how you feel about daily life. Satan can make you feel like you are in hell, but you aren't you are a child of God. When you emotions take over, you need to do two things. First get out your Bible and read God's promises, and second talk to God and tell Him what you are going through. If you noticed I keep talking about our 'relationship' with God. I do that on purpose because that is what it is. All relationships take work and ours with God is no different. You can't maintain a relationship with someone if you never meet with them and never talk to them. I will admit it is harder with God because we can't see Him or audibly hear Him, but it is still possible. That again is a reason to go to church. God's word tells us that He is in His people's praises. So you will feel closer to God when you are praising Him. Emotionally that can be hard too, because when we are down the last things we feel like doing is singing praises to God, but trust me if you will force yourself and just let go and praise God it can give your emotions a great boost.
If Satan wants to depress you, then you need to fight that feeling. The more depressed you get the more you need to read your Bible and pray. Here is my point. If Satan can depress you and that makes you stop praying and reading your Bible, then he has won. Now on the other hand if every time he messes with your emotions you get on your knees and into the Word, it won't be long and he will figure out that he needs to just leave your emotions alone.
When I first started getting closer to God, I found the same things you have found. Every time I tried to pray my mind would have horribly evil thoughts, or I would end up daydreaming and getting nothing out of my prayer time. If I tried to read my Bible again my mind would daydream or worse I would think of bad sexual thought, etc... I got to the point where I did not want to pray or read my Bible but then it hit me what was going on and I decided that if Satan hated me praying and reading God's word then that is what I would do even more. I mentally fought Satan by praying and reading my Bible. Two things happened. I quit having those horrible thoughts and I got closer to God at the same time. Will that work for you? I don't know, but I do know that even if you don't feel like it you need to go to church and praise God, and that you need to pray and read your Bible.
Don't give up, this is a struggle but we know Who has already won the war!!
E-Mail Ralph (Whose comments are in green)