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So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8
This is the testimony of a young Police Officer who visited my site. He found that the void in his life was where Jesus belonged. He has allowed me to post his story so that maybe someone else who has a void in their life will see what is missing is Jesus - the only friend who will never forsake you no matter what.
I came to your site to promote mine. I have seen your banner in so many guestbooks, I thought to myself, "hey now there is a guy who has it together." Man, was I right. I didn't even sign your guestbook, and here is why.
I have a HUGE void in my life! I don't know why I am telling you these things, I guess its just a cops instinct to trust another cop. I graduated high school in 1993 ( yes I'm a young puppy) and when I did my mom and dad moved to the country. Unfortunately, I went with them, leaving all my friends behind. It was probably a good thing because even though they were the best friends a guy could have, they were going the wrong way. Yes, I drank beer with them, even tried marijuana with them, but it just wasn't my scene.
When I got to the country, a small town, I was miserable! There was nothing to do, no friends to be made. Until, I went to this club one night. It was teen night. I was there mingling around when this girl, this beautiful girl, caught my eye. I asked my friend who she was and he said, "Oh man, forget her, she is a snob." Well, it wasn't that easy, I couldn't forget her. I later found out her name, and that she had her eye on me too. What a happy man I was! We started to date.
Everything was great there for a while. I had a good job at Budget Rent-a-Car, she was in nursing school. Even though I had a good job, I have always had a longing to be a police officer, so I joined the academy with no sponsorship from any department. Times were hard but she stuck through it with me. It was then that I realized that I loved her. Upon completion of the police academy I got a job as a 911 dispatcher for the county and asked her to marry me. She said YES!!!!! Man, things were really going great, until ......... I got my job as a full time police officer.
Things really took a left turn. I am a very feelings-oriented person. It was hard for me to see people die, wives getting smacked around by their husbands, people overdosing on meth. It got to the point where I just thought everyone with the exception of myself and other policemen were dirtbags. I hated the likeliness of anyone new that I would meet. Shoot, I even wondered at times if my wife was a criminal! Well, needless to say, I took all my pain out on her. I started drinking, staying out late and all that stuff. When she would get upset at me for drinking and staying out late, it would offend me. I thought, "Who is she to tell me what to do, she doesn't understand!" I started to notice a change in her.
Instead of worrying where I was, she started to go out, and not come home ..... wrong thing to do. I had such a chip on my shoulder, I thought I would teach her. I went out to a bar, met this girl and took her home with me. POW ..... Now who's the man?
Guess what, my wife found out ..... divorced me and took everything I own. All for one stupid decision on my part. Wait, it gets better. The girl I took out is now pregnant with my kid. Now as a result of a bad decision on my part, I am 22 years old, divorced, a daddy, and I have not a dollar to my name. Is Law Enforcement to blame? No ....... It's me, and let me tell you one thing right now, If it wasn't for the fact that I visited this page, and have decided to go straight to my pastor at the church as soon as I'm done typing this letter ... I was going to off myself. I just can't take the pain of all this stuff. I know I owe it to myself to live, plus stealing is a crime, and I'll be damned to hell if I'm going to steal from GOD, the one who gave me my life! Thank you so much, you have helped a young desperate cop make the right decision!
The next day:
Just to keep you updated, I have not gone to see the pastor yet. I called yesterday, but he wasn't there. That is okay, though. I have already seen some changes. You see, I have already been saved and I am kind of a backslider. But now that I have accepted Jesus back into my heart, I feel different again. Thank you for praying for me, it helps. I know this will take some time, and it is not going to be easy, but with the strength of Jesus and all my friends behind me, I WILL SURVIVE. Thank you sooo much.
Two years later - quoted from guestbook entry:
Ralph, Long time brother! It's Woody... author of the "VOID". Well, its been about two years since I talked to you. I am in the Army now.... kinda scary, huh? I am basically happy, with a few exceptions, but I am getting back on the right track. Jesus is still in my life and I still feel that I owe it to you. Thank you so much. You will always be in my prayers. God bless you.
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